Adam and Eve

He is lonely

Though he doesn’t know the meaning of the word

He lies awake at night

There must be more to life then this work

He opens up his eyes

To see a face, to hear a voice he’s never heard

She is beautiful

He would do anything for her

Eternity finds it’s beginnings in this place

Love is lost and found and twisted

She is hungry

She tells herself as she undoes all his work

She knows its temptation

But it all just feels so good to her

Voices are whispering

She takes a bite, he looks imploringly at her

He is beautiful

But his is not the voice she heard

Everything is new in a plot as old as time

Life is lost and found and twisted

He is tired

He gave them life; he gave them choice and passion

He looks at them

The ones he loves, his life, his children

They do not see his pain

Their betrayal has torn the heart right out of him

They are still beautiful

He will do everything for them

Eternity finds it’s beginnings in this place

Life and love are given

Tattoo

I heard someone on the TV the other day explaining her belief system. She said that instead of God she believed in Love and that Fear is the equivalent of the Devil. At the time I thought that there was a seed of truth in her beliefs and I pitied her that she doesn't know the rest of the truth. One part she got right, Love in its purest form is synonymous with God. It comes form him and can only be fully recognized in him. I wish that humans had more of the pure, unconditional, inescapable love of God. It would be a lot easier to trust people if you knew that they loved you despite your faults and deepest secret sins. I wish fear was less prevalent in the human life style and I think that love, love like God's, is the only way to banish fear. When you know that there will be love for you, unconditional, irrevocable, never changing, consistent love, no matter what you do or say, or how badly you screwed up; when you know that, you can attempt anything. Like I said, I wish people were more capable of that, or more aware of it's availability in God. I know a lot of people who need it, myself included. Actually, I think everyone is searching for that love and acceptance in some way. If only we, the church, could help them find it. That, I think, is a noble and worthwhile goal, the only goal really. To bring knowledge of God's love, typified in the person of Christ, to those who don't know it. Yes, that is what I want to do.

Today I was a rock.

Today I was a rock... for about ten minutes. Yes, I know that is a weird statement, I'll explain. Today, after mowing my aunt's lawn for two hours (they have a couple-or maybe a few-acres) without incident (thank God, and you'll have to ask me for that story sometime), I went swimming with my little cousins for a while. My Grandma has a little pool for them in the back yard. It's about an eight food diameter and a foot and a half deep. So, there we are swimming, or in my case sitting, laying, occasionally splashing and tickling, and generally relaxing, and Avery, my four-year-old little cousin, says to me, "Lindsey, you be the rock." Naturally, I am at first a tad bit confused. Up to that point I had been a mermaid, a sea horse, a tickle monster, a bridge, and Snow White, rock had somehow been overlooked. I had been told to swim away, turn left, go like this, hold your breath, watch me, shoot Aidan with a water gun, put your hair over your face, and let me tickle you, but not yet to assume the identity of a inanimate, geological object. How was I to do such a thing? I was quickly filled in on the fact that, "Rocks don't laugh, Lindsey!" which was soon followed by, "Don't open your eyes." I soon came to learn that rocks sit cross-legged in the water with their faces turned upward, eyes closed and jaw jutting out in look both stoic and yet defiant. And so I sat, for ten minutes, while the little mermaid (for that is what Avery was) posed in my lap, lounging in various mermaid-ly positions with little ankles crossed to form a tail. Once she darted away to fight a shark (six-year-old brother Aidan), once to dance with a prince (Aidan again), and once she proclaimed that she and I were both "Stone Mermaids"-though that lasted only as long as she could sit still and silent, about ten seconds. Overall, though I am rarely one to sit quietly especially when ordered to do so, I think that that ten minutes were some of the most enjoyable of my summer. While I can confidently say that this is the first time I have been a rock for this little girl, I hope it will not be the last.

Whole

Why is it so easy to go about my day and then at the end look back and realize I have done nothing? Why is the me I am at night different then the one who lives my days? Why can’t I live who I really am? I don’t want to live like this any more! I want to live a life that matters. I want to live the life that God has given me with gusto. I want to be fully involved and mean everything that I do. I want to live spiritually as well as physically. I want to be a whole person. God, please hold the pieces of me together. Help me be whole and wholly yours!

Weird Thought